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Tumbling Down the Up Escalator

by Hey Girl Slow Down

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1.
holy moly 02:51
We’ll bury our nerves outside the suburbs, 'cause that would be too close to home I’m just no fun just for fun I put the cunt in contrarian And if the glass is half-full, that just means I’m not done What’s wrong with you kids? Why can’t you do shit without getting your hearts broken? *En garde, ennui! Je suis l’enfant terrible!* Oh, merci! I’m not your "bro" But sure, I’ll take a bump, though You’ll end up like some Peter Panhandler Folks will pinch their noses when they pass When the neighbor kids get bored they’ll cover you in trash When they get drunk they’ll just kick your ass Repetition bores us, abuse that thesaurus And you should probably hit a dictionary Would you believe? God has called on me To call out sick with something make believe Delusion, every allusion to books you never read in high school You’ll end up like Alexander Supertramp Dead in a van in the woods someplace You’ll pick poison berries and stuff your face And shit out your last breath ‘cause you had "something to say" I’m not a burnout, I am an artist These white boys are all the same They think they’re so clever Like the coolest thing you could do Is say fuck on a record But that’s not true That’s not the coolest thing you could do The coolest thing you could do Is probably say cunt on a record... I’m not a burnout I am an artist
2.
happy 04:16
You couldn’t find the right words When really any words were right For the gag reel when your life Flashes before your eyes What are you doing? That’s fucking weird, what are you doing? Can we please talk about the weather? Or how to link files in Excel? Anything we won’t remember ‘Cause we remember if you do I couldn’t find the right words But I got your message I just don’t like the subtext I don’t like what comes next And you will never be happy again And you can never be happy again You can try all that you like Dark thoughts will keep you up all night And you will never be happy again Take it to your grave I bet you’ll take it to your bed And every morning when you wake You’ll be spooning with your regret Do you remember? Now’s as good a time as ever When you couldn’t hold your drink And you were such a dick? And you will never be happy again And you can never be happy again And every simile for shame Will crawl like spiders to your brain And you will never be happy again And maybe if you’re lucky Then maybe everybody Will just think that you’re high Your memory doesn’t serve So much as drag you to the curb For every public disturbance It’s okay to be nervous ‘Cause you’re only human Just not to them And you will never be happy again And you can never be happy again You can try all that you like You’ll miss out and then you’ll die And you will never be happy again
3.
I keep my limbs in this pile I hoard excuses in stacks until they flatten cats And I’ve been tuning the dials on my pillowcase Trying to fast forward to the good part Wait for the twist, miss all the good parts To end my day early, preferably before it starts, I just put whatever in my blood They said you can’t get addicted to pot I must’ve forgot My short term memory’s not good You can’t get addicted to pot Well, why not? Don’t tell me what I can’t do Then I brought home some free weights, Like hanging posters in a cage Just taking up space I give myself too much leeway Except in my head and my health And how I talk to myself Turns out that bud don’t got all that much to do with Buddhism But sometimes I like to pretend, and I get pretty zen And I try a guided meditation on self-compassion They said to pick something to love Didn’t matter what it was Didn’t matter if you’re even good at it Just pick something to love “What’s so great about drugs?” What’s so great about anything? And they said you can’t get addicted to pot Probably not I don’t wanna argue right now I just want something to love more than myself Even when that’s not a high standard Every day is a day God dropped, Held up to Himself and He picked the hairs off Like, “It’s still good, you can help yourself! And if you want help, you can help yourself!” I never learned how to help myself So I’m refusing the call, I’ll pace the equator And I don’t get service there, I’ll talk to you later I’m tumbling down the up escalator Then I will try to find and realign my spine Too little, too late this time See you never I just want something to love more than myself Even when that’s not a high standard
4.
calluses 03:49
Took a couple years to turn my weaknesses to strengths Took a few more years to learn that that makes no goddamn sense I write pros and cons until my fingers get all callused You hold my hand, I read your palm I read your tarot, you think it’s magic But it’s just rote, it’s just practice It just comes with practice I’m not even trying anymore Dig a hole and let nature run its course ‘Cause nothing comes as naturally to me as hiding, or you Rotten floorboards ripped from the front porch While you were out someplace chasing storms Let’s see how far you’ll dig You’ll just get calluses I hate having opinions, I wish my true colors were grey Dressing up my skeletons to put them on display You feel my palm, you feel my fingertips and my calluses And you laugh and you say that I’m talented But that’s just practice Plaster my lips in vinyl and I’ll spin and I’ll spin You can dig me all the way to China You’ll just get calluses Suppose sometime in some past life, I must have been an escape artist Who boasted he could hold his breath for 5 whole minutes It was probably less
5.
alvin 03:05
My Jiminy follows me Stumbling drunkenly between Confession and catty remark Like a desperate white girl on New Year’s Eve Wanna know my secret? I’m the Hulk of sadness I got whiskey dick of the soul I let a drug addict cover for my self-control So it’s the least I could do For all the people I’ve hurt And all the people I’ve yet to If you don’t say you love me, I’ll fucking kill myself If you say that you love me, I’ll need it from someone else If you don’t accept my apology, I’ll probably kill myself Just so you know I like to make myself believe In some cosmic symmetry Where every asshole move is just more lube For the other end of the karma machine And maybe I’m just a gear I know I’m not who I’ve been But if we are what we do - well, the truth is I haven’t really done much since And when I catch what I’m long overdue for I wonder whom Will that be good news for? We can hardly stand the wait We can hardly stand We can hardly stand the wait We can hardly stand Ba baaaaaa!!! Ba baaaaaaa!!! This is the sound of getting beat up in a bar fight

about

the soundtrack to your quarter-life crisis

credits

released July 2, 2017

Produced and engineered by Jon Markson
Mastered by Mike Kalajian

Hey Girl Slow Down is:

Jacob Matthew - vocals/guitar
Cory Haberman - vocals/bass
Mike Bogdanowicz - guitar
Steve Ranellone - drums

Also featuring:
Jon Markson - additional guitar/vocals
Mori Einsidler - vocals
Sam Palumbo - vocals

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Hey Girl Slow Down New York, New York

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Osw6JuGZL3Q

Hey Girl Slow Down - the band with no name!

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